Unmatched Socks Tied To Racism

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Researchers at the prestigious Center For Studies Studies have concluded that unmatched socks are the result of racism.

HortonFrogbottomThe phenomenon of unmatched socks–the tendency, over time, of sock drawers to fill up with unpaired hosiery–has long baffled scientists, said Horton W. Frogbottom, spokesperson for the Center.

“We thought Erwin Schrödinger pretty much had this nailed down,” he said, referring to the famous Schrödinger’s Sock Drawer thought experiment. “It looks like we were over-thinking the whole problem.”

Indeed. Researchers discovered that, as with the overwhelming majority of unpleasant things in life, the underlying cause was the seemingly unrelated issue of the antipathy of white people toward non-whites.

“We missed the whole racism nexus because it just didn’t occur to us to make the connection. Probably because we really can’t stand non-white people,” Frogbottom said.

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