Accountant Wanted

Are you one in a million? The crème de la crème ?

If Jesus Christ were an accountant, would he be nearly as awesome as you?

Do you live and breath Sarbanes-Oxley? Do new FASB pronouncements quicken your pulse? Do Treasury regs make your pants fit a bit too tight?

Are you an expert in QuickBooks, Peachtree, Oracle, Microsoft Dynamics, SAP, NetSuite, Epicor, Baan, Cognos, MAS, Excel, Word, PowerPoint, Monarch, SQL, RPG IV, and COBOL?

Are you fluent in Mandarin, Klingon, Urdu, and Portuguese?

Do you have awesome people skills? Not like decent people skills for an accountant, but the sort of people skills that would be better suited for cold call sales, multi-level marketing, or TV envangelism? Do you light up the room when you walk in with a stack of budget variance summaries?

Do you sleep four hours a night, work 12 hours a day, and get antsy if you unaccountably are able to take a day off?

What are you, flipping nuts?

No, seriously.

We’re looking for an accountant.

Just an accountant.

You know, someone who understands the difference between a reversing entry and accelerated depreciation.

Someone who can fill out government forms without having an aneurysm.

Someone who can book journal entries without muttering to him or herself about how you should have never changed your major from computer science.

Someone who understands that the matching principle has nothing to do with with Gene Rayburn.

If that’s you, send your resume to:

Bob’s Home Loans and Taxidermy
105456 Industrial Road
Hawaiian Gardens, CA 90716

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